fated_to_pretend's Xanga

Sunday, November 08, 2009

Sun, 08 Nov 2009 22:20:38 GMT

For the first time in my life I am completely and utterly confused.
At times in the past I have felt lost but have always been able to find the path back home.
Now, I don’t even know where I call home.
I am back and forth from destination to destination, a nomad.
I don’t feel like I truly belong anywhere, or with anyone.
I am unclear of who I am and who I want to be,
who I truly care about or who I just want to keep around for comfort.
I have never been so baffled.
It keeps me up at night and wakes me early in the morning.
My mind feels as if it is in a race with no finish line.
All I want are answers but none are to be found.
I don’t know what I want or what is right for me, things seem to be crumbling at a pace that I cant keep up with.
I need to press pause on the remote that is my life.
Everything seems to be moving at a fast-forwarded pace and my mind is tired of running.
I need peace.
I don’t know where to find it.
It isn’t here and it is no longer at “home.”
I need a rewind button because the past needs to be reworked, it fucked up my present.
I don’t know where to go from here but I do know that I need rest.
I miss everything that used to make me feel safe, I want it back.

-me

Here’s to life, as hard as it may be, and picking yourself up when you’ve fallen down.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 04:43:13 GMT

yes, i'm finally updating. comment&subscribe. enjoy.

If the children don't grow up,
our bodies get bigger but our hearts get torn up.
We're just a million little gods causin' rain storms turnin' every good thing to rust.

Wake Up-The Arcade Fire

I’m not going to change the way I look or the way I feel to conform to anything.

I’ve always been a freak.

So I’ve been a freak all my life and I have to live with that, you know.

I’m one of those people.

John Lennon

and today I can't stop smiling
all the hope is making my face ache.

Here's to the kids who's idea of a good time
is sitting on the hood of their car, watching the stars.

do you feel a certain sense of synergy between yourself and me?
it had to be you- motion city soundtrack

I need you so much closer
so come on, come on

Transatlanticism- death cab

I felt the world begin
to peel off all my skin
and i felt the weight within
reveal the bigger mess
that you can't fix

Shake it out- manchester orchestra

I just know there's something dark in me and I hide it. I certainly don't talk about it, but it's there always, this Dark Passenger. And when he's driving, I feel alive, half sick with the thrill of complete wrongness. I don't fight him, I don't want to. He's all I've got. Nothing else could love me, not even... especially not me. Or is that just a lie the Dark Passenger tells me? Because lately there are these moments when I feel connected to something else... someone. It's like the mask is slipping and things... people... who never mattered before are suddenly starting to matter. It scares the hell out of me.

Dexter

And I cannot stop thinking about you
I cannot stop wondering
If you’re constantly thinking about me
Don't close your eyes dear, I'm still staring
I won't lie dear, I'm still breathing
Even though your beauty is breathtaking

Darl’n- Between The Trees

we’ll fight for your music halls
and dying cities.

Plasticites-Andrew Bird

When they come for me, I'll be sitting at my desk
With a gun in my hand, wearing a bulletproof vest singing
"My, my, my, how the time does fly, when you know you're going to die
By the end of the night." And said hey

Keasbey Nights-Streetlight Manifesto

although we adore men individually, we
agree that as a group they are rather stupid.

Mary Poppins

we cut the legs off of our pants

threw our shoes into the ocean

sit back and wave through the daylight

Daylight-Matt and Kim

Bottles of reasons have now reached the ceiling
It's hard to hide it, I'll hide behind it for now
My big mouth said too much, I'm shaking at your touch
All the bottles came crashing down to the floor

Whiskey and Wine- Matt Costa

Sweet darlin'
This is my confession to
The crimes of wanting you badly
And darling, if you're wondering
Here's your answer;
Yes, I like you.
I don't love you
I can't love you...
...yet.

Darl’n- Between the Trees

When you smile, I melt inside
I'm not worthy for a minute of your time
I really wish it was only me and you
I'm jealous of everybody in the room
Please don't look at me with those eyes
Please don't hint that you're capable of lies
I dread the thought of our very first kiss
A target that i'm probably gonna miss

First Date; Blink-182

Tell me there's a logic out there.
Leading me to better prepare
For the day that something really special might come.
Tell me there's some hope for me.
I don't wanna be lonely
For the rest of my days on the earth.

Perfect Situation-Weezer

Just remember, the same as a spectacular Vogue magazine, remember that no matter how close you follow the jumps: Continued on page whatever. No matter how careful you are, there`s going to be the sense you missed something, the collapsed feeling under you...

Chuck Palahniuk

I remember we were driving in your car, the speed so fast I felt like I was drunk. City lights lay out before us and your arm felt nice wrapped around my shoulder. And I had a feeling that I belonged, and I had a feeling that I could be someone.

When I can't find the words,
you teach my heart to speak,
You make it real for me

James Morrison

All we have at the end of the game
Is a lonely road out.
All I know at the end of the day
Is a love to smile now, even if that’s fake.
All I know is I’m done acting
And I'll be happy for your life, even if I hate it all.

Hair-The Early November

These feelings won't go away
They've been knockin' me sideways
They've been knockin' me out, babe
Whenever you come around me.

Sideways- Citizen Cope

I dream. I dream I'm floating on the surface of my own life. Watching it unfold. Observing it. I'm the outsider looking in.

Dexter

A subtle silence
To demolish the troubled conscious
Of a compass with no knowledge
And every freedom denied
Every dream is designed and broadcasted
From the masters to the masses
From the antennas on top of the shrines
As far as the receiving planet during a panic is shorted
It reports back everything in your mind.

Streets On Fire-Lupe Fiasco

"People keep telling me that I fall in love too easily- that I should protect my heart, that I shouldn’t wear my heart on my sleeve…I fall in love at least 20 times a day. I fall in love with the sky and the sun and the flowers and my children. I fall in love with smiles, with music on the radio and with french fries and Dr. Pepper. I fall in love with the sound of laughter, blue jeans, accents… Sometimes I fall in love with complete strangers, especially the ones holding hands and kissing in public. The ones who aren’t afraid to be in love with the idea of being in love either….I don’t mind the pain of unrequited love so much, because I think they’re wrong. Love looks good on me."

Natalie Anne Erlanson

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Thursday, July 23, 2009

Thu, 23 Jul 2009 06:16:54 GMT

13 comments for a new entry. comment&subscribe.

Sometimes when
I'm lying there all alone
I think of every little nothing
That we could own
To overthrow all of you
Who have overgrown.

Turn It Again-RHCP

She'll flip through her thousands of songs until she finds one
that will perfectly describe the way she feels right now.

I think you want to be beautiful in someone's eyes, you want to be seen. Like if I shot off fireworks and no one was there to watch them, and I closed my eyes, they become beautiful in being seen. Maybe you're not supposed to be beautiful to be seen, you just have to be seen as beautiful, by someone, by one person.

there's nothing like hearing that girl cry on the receiver
and your stomach hurts so bad 'cause you think you need her
so you down that cough syrup
you love feeling so screwed up
and you crawl up those steps and read yourself to sleep
yeah, you crawl up those steps and sing yourself to peace.

House of Regret- Wild Sweet Orange

"You have four years to be irresponsible here. Relax.Work is for people with jobs. You’ll never remember class time, but you'll remember time you wasted hanging with your friends. So, stay out late. Go out on a Tuesday
when you have a paper due Wednesday. Spend Money you don't have. Drink 'til sunrise. The work never ends,
but high school does."-Tom Petty.

it was almost night time so we stayed inside and closed our eyes
I whispered a thought that I had
we slept while holding hands
couldn't sleep, "the cold", you said
"just being near you for awhile is enough"
I thought you have the most wonderful sense of feeling right
and the most wonderful sense of being here tonight.

1:19- Saves The Day

And one day we will die
And our ashes will fly from the aeroplane over the sea
But for now we are young
Let us lay in the sun
And count every beautiful thing we can see
Love to be
In the arms of all I'm keeping here with me.

In The Aeroplane Over the Sea- Neutral Milk Hotel

"Music doesn't lie.
If there is something
to be changed
in this world,
then it can only
happen through music."
-Jimi Hendrix.

Most of our lives are a series of images,
They pass us by like towns on a highway.
But sometimes a moment stuns us as it happens
And we know that this instant is more
than a fleeting image.
We know that this moment, every part of it,
Will live on forever.

I like too many things
and get all confused
and hung-up running
from one falling star
to another till I drop.
This is the night,
what it does to you.
I had nothing to offer
anybody except
my own confusion.

Right on the verge just one more dose
I'm traveling from coast to coast
My theory isn't perfect but it's close
I'm almost there why should I care
My heart is hurting when I share
Someone open up and let it show.

Wet Sand- RHCP

Hardwood floor carry sounds
carry slow to my ears
it's the words I can't recognize
but I'm trying hard to hear
cause my eyes can't find the things
that they're looking for down here
and brown leaves are covering
another wasted day this year.
The lights strung out across the yard
remind me of a time when I tried
to be a light, ya know, god I try to shine.
But the cross seems so high tonight
and glory I can't find.
Oh could you tilt in so you're leaning down
or would you pull me back inside...

Tilt-Wild Sweet Orange

But hey hey, I've got things to say
I've lost control of life
I don’t know how many times I’ve tried
To undo the knot you've tied
My face is red, and people change
I’ve changed for good this time.

Carry On-Bayside

i've been to both hemispheres over my short years
I still can't pick my favorite place
the contour of your lips
they match the continents
and I still love the way you taste.

Time-Cute Is What We Aim For

You can walk for what seems like days and the trees all start to take face,
hold as you're running in place,
and then they all start to scream, "This is the land of no returning!"
Oh, when will you start believing that there are monsters beneath your bed?
And those voices of self-destruction could never begin in your head.
Oh and love is no illusion sometimes I can see it in your eyes.
And hear it moan and tumble down the hill when the traffic dies
So when you go, tell me where are you going.
'Cause there's no place you can run to, forget all your longing.
So forget where you're going.

Land Of No Return-Wild Sweet Orange

It's true: Everyone needs a reason to stay alive -- someone who justifies your existence. Someone who loves you. Not beyond all reason. Just loves you. Even just shows an interest. Even someone who doesn't exist, or isn't yours. No, no! They don't even have to love you! They just have to be there to love! Target for your arrows. Magnetic Pole to drag on your compass needle and stop it spinning and tell you where you're heading and...Someone to soak up all the yearning. That's what I think.

I just want to sit with you.
We could talk or,
we could just sit.
You could hold my hand
or maybe make me laugh.
But, just being
it seems so endless that
it’s enough when it comes to you.

And yet, I found I could survive. I was alert, I felt the pain - the aching loss that radiated out from my chest, sending wracking waves of hurt through my limbs and head - but it was manageable. I could live through t. It didn't feel like the pain had weakened over time, rather that I'd grown strong enough to bear it.

Sometimes all I really want to feel is love
Sometimes I'm angry that I feel so angry
Sometimes my feelings get in the way
Of what I really feel I needed to say

Edit The Sad Parts-Modest Mouse

life’s too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. so love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don’t, and ~~believe~~ that everything happens for a reason. if you get a chance, take it. if it changes your life, let it. nobody said it would be easy; they just promised it would be worth it.

We'll never be younger
than we are tonight.

All I want is for you to be happy and
Take this woman and make you my family and
Finally you have found someone perfect and
Finally you have found... yourself.

Hard To Concentrate-RHCP

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Monday, March 30, 2009

Mon, 30 Mar 2009 21:47:46 GMT

11 comments 'til the next post

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Don't nobody know what I'm talking about. I've got my own life to live. I'm the one that's gonna die when it's time for me to die, so let me live my life the way I want to.
-"If 6 was 9" by Jimi Hendrix.

i want to live in the center of a circle
i want to live on the side of a square
id love to walk to where we can both talk but
ive got to leave you cause my ride is here

Home Life-John Mayer

My oh my, how my blood boils, it's sweet taste for you,
Strips me down bare
And gets me into my favourite mood.

Crazy For You-Adele

Dr. Meredith Grey: Maybe we like the pain. Maybe we're wired that way. Because without it, I don't know; maybe we just wouldn't feel real. What's that saying? Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop.

Dr. Meredith Grey: You know how when you were a little kid and you believed in fairy tales, that fantasy of what your life would be, white dress, prince charming who would carry you away to a castle on a hill. You would lie in bed at night and close your eyes and you had complete and utter faith. Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, Prince Charming, they were so close you could taste them, but eventually you grow up, one day you open your eyes and the fairy tale disappears. Most people turn to the things and people they can trust. But the thing is its hard to let go of that fairy tale entirely cause almost everyone has that smallest bit of hope, of faith, that one day they will open their eyes and it will come true.

Brian Johnson: Dear Mr. Vernon, we accept the fact that we had to sacrifice a whole Saturday in detention for whatever it was we did wrong. But we think you're crazy to make an essay telling you who we think we are. You see us as you want to see us... In the simplest terms, in the most convenient definitions. But what we found out is that each one of us is a brain...
Andrew Clark: ...and an athlete...
Allison Reynolds: ...and a basket case...
Claire Standish: ...a princess...
John Bender: ...and a criminal...
Brian Johnson: Does that answer your question?... Sincerely yours, the Breakfast Club.

I never cared how i dressed before
But i cared that night
Anticipation ran through my bones
And my clothes never fit right
I can't wait 'til we meet again.

I Don’t Wanna Know-New Found Glory

Hate me today.
Hate me tomorrow.
Hate me for all the things i didn't do for you.
Hate me in ways, yeah ways hard to swallow.
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you.

Hate Me-Blue October

And the smile across my face is being forged
It's nothing but a fake and it helps me to not think
And I know that you're at home and on your mind
is nothing about my brown hair and hazel eyes.
I'm just trying to pass the time
And the tears all sing aloud, without making a sound
‘You're a sucker, such a sucker.’
It seems as if you want what you can't get
And I'm nauseous and I'm sick
And I'll get into your mind so please get out of mine.

I Am A Book, Torn-Manchester Orchestra

you can't rely on someone else to make you feel alive.

and you don't want to be here in the future
So you say
the present's just a pleasant
Interruption to the past
And you don't want to look much closer
'Cause you're afraid to find out all this hope
You had sent into the sky by now had... crashed
and it did because of me.

Konstantine-Something Corporate

And I know it may be hard to get through,
but baby go where you heart tells you to.

Carry On-Bayside

When I woke up, my body was dying all over the floor.
I felt apathy and hate infested in my bones.
Wake up, you've got a lot of things to do;
wake up, the sun is rising without you.

Quiet As A Mouse-Margot and The Nuclear So and So’s

I mean that you can give me life, or take it away from me.
You are my complete happiness and my misery.

We are in each others arms
just like a movie scene
And as we're leaning in
the light decides to turn green
Me and you together
this is getting better
just butterflies won't do
I don't want just red lights
I want more of these nights
baby I love you.

White Lines and Red Lights- Between The Trees

It's a funny thing about coming home...
looks the same, smells the same, feels the same.
You'll realize that what's changed is you.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Pacing floors and opening doors,
Hoping you'll walk through
And save me boy,
Because I'm too crazy for you.
Crazy for you.

Crazy For You-Adele

Dr. Meredith Grey: Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes to simply be human. Maybe, we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate.

Sometimes it's easier to feel like you're the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated or unsatisfied or barely getting by, but the feeling is alive and if you just hold on. Just find the courage to face it all for another day. Someone or something will find you and make it all okay, because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in our world, to remind us that it won't always be this way, that someone is out there and that someone will find you.

Practicing medicine doesn't lend itself to the making of friends. Maybe because life and mortality are in our faces all the time. Maybe because in staring down death everyday, we're forced to know that life, every minute is borrowed time. And each person, we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line. For this reason, I know some doctors who just don't bother making friends at all. But the rest of us, we make it our job to move that line. To push each loss as far away as we can.

Grey’s Anatomy

i love grey's

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Monday, March 09, 2009

Mon, 09 Mar 2009 03:49:27 GMT

thanks guyss

this time it's 10 comments til the new post

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The most important thing in art is the frame. For painting: literally; for other arts: figuratively - because, without this humble appliance, you can't know where The Art stops and The Real World begins. You have to put a "box" around it because otherwise, what is that shit on the wall?
Frank Zappa

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

But in the end everyone ends up alone
Losing her, the only one who's ever known
Who I am, who I'm not and who I wanna to be
No way to know how long she will be next to me

^{The Fray- You Found Me}

and i, oh i just can't find a reason why
why you intentionally say goodbye
if this mess were up to me, we'd see eye-to-eye
but you get bored and run from the honest life
sometimes it's where you're making me lose my mind

The Sounds-The Morning Light

I live my life in the shadows of the things I try to hide.

The Only Medicine- Scary Kids Scaring Kids

It seems like the chaos of this world is accelerating, but so is the beauty in the consciousness of more and more people.
Anthony Kiedis

Sometimes life's so much cooler when you just don't know any better and all the painful lessons have not hammered your head open yet.
Anthony Kiedis

I see you lying next to me
With words I thought I'd never speak
Awake and unafraid
Asleep or dead

Famous Last Words-My Chemical Romance

But I will say that if you're alive, you got to flap your arms and legs, you got to jump around a lot, you got to make a lot of noise, because life is the very opposite of death and therefore, as I see it, if you're quiet, you're not living.
You've got to be noisy or at least your thoughts should be noisy and colorful and lively.

Mel Brooks

You're desperate in finding something else to please you. You've been searching your whole life. Something to mute, change, or just distract you. Something to put inside you to give the illusion of life.

I am not afraid to keep on living
I am not afraid to walk this world alone
Honey if you stay, I'll be forgiven
Nothing you can say can stop me going home

Famous Last Words-My Chemical Romance

They're not that different from you, are they? Same haircuts. Full of hormones, just like you. Invincible, just like you feel. The world is their oyster. They believe they're destined for great things, just like many of you, their eyes are full of hope, just like you. Did they wait until it was too late to make from their lives even one iota of what they were capable? Because, you see gentlemen, these boys are now fertilizing daffodils. But if you listen real close, you can hear them whisper their legacy to you. Go on, lean in. Listen, you hear it? - - Carpe - - hear it? - - Carpe, carpe diem, seize the day boys. Make your lives extraordinary.

Dead Poet’s Society

“Don't gain the world and lose your soul, wisdom is better than silver or gold...”

Bob Marley

If you got it all figured out
Then what is there to shout about
This Midwest town is gonna miss you.

BigCityDreams-NeverShoutNever!

You might think I'm incapable
Of loving a soul like yours
You might think I'm a fool
For you

ShesGotStyle-NeverShoutNever!

You are everything I wanted
The scars of all I’ll ever know

If I told you you were right
Would you take my hand tonight?
If I told you the reasons why
Would you leave your life and ride?

Ride-Cary Brothers

We're damned after all.
Through fortune and flame we fall.
And if you can stay then I'll show you the way,
To return from the ashes you call.

Mama-My Chemical Romance

I want so badly to believe that
there is truth, that love is real.
And I want life in every word, to the extent
that it's absurd.
I know you're wise beyond your years, but
do you ever get the feeling
that your perfect verse is just a lie
you tell yourself to help you get by?

Clark Gable- The Postal Service

Mondays I sleep away
Tuesdays I lay awake
Wednesdays are the worst
Thursdays I reminisce
Fridays I see your face
And I can breathe.

Dare4Distance-NeverShoutNever!

So if I asked you about art, you'd probably give me the skinny... on every art book ever written. Michelangelo? You know a lot about him. Life's work, political aspirations. Him and the pope. Sexual orientation. The whole works, right? I bet you can't tell me what it smells like in the Sistine Chapel. You never actually stood there and looked up at that beautiful ceiling. Seeing that. If I ask you about women, you'll probably give me a syllabus of your personal favorites. You may have even been laid a few times. But you can't tell me what it feels like to wake up next to a woman... and feel truly happy. You're a tough kid. I ask you about war, you'd probably ah throw Shakespeare at me, right? "Once more into the breach, dear friends." But you've never been near one. You've never held your best friend's head in your lap... and watched him gasp his last breath lookin' to you for help. If I asked you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet, but you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable. Known someone that could level you with her eyes. Feelin' like God put an angel on Earth just for you, who could rescue you from the depths of hell. And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel, to have that love for her be there forever. Through anything. Through cancer. And you wouldn't know about sleepin' sittin' up in a hospital room... for two months, holding her hand, because the doctors could see in your eyes... that the terms "visiting hours" don't apply to you. You don't know about real loss, 'cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself. I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much. I look at you. I don't see an intelligent, confident man. I see a cocky, scared shitless kid. But you're a genius, Will. No one denies that. No one could possibly understand the depths of you. But you presume to know everything about me because you saw a painting of mine. You ripped my fuckin' life apart. You're an orphan, right? Do you think that I'd know the first thing about how hard your life has been - how you feel, who you are - because I read Oliver Twist? Does that encapsulate you? Personally, I don't give a shit about all that, because - You know what? I can't learn anything from you... I can't read in some fuckin' book. Unless you wanna talk about you, who you are. And I'm fascinated. I'm in. But you don't wanna do that, do you sport? You're terrified of what you might say. Your move, chief.

Good Will Hunting

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Saturday, February 28, 2009

Sat, 28 Feb 2009 05:20:11 GMT

8 comments for a new post, or else, you get nothing lol.

and here we go...

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Oh, I watch you there
Through the window
And I stare at you
You wear nothing, but you
Wear it so well
Tied up and twisted,
The way I'd like to be
For you, for me, come crash into me, baby
Come crash into me, yeah

Crash Into You-DMB

Stars feel like knives, they tell us why we're fighting.
Storm, wait outside. Oh, love, hold us together.

And then I felt the scrapes
From the slippery subway grate.
Oh how you laughed
At my complete lack of grace.
But I could not recall
A more perfect fall
Cause when I looked up into your eyes
It didn't hurt at all.

Be Still My Heart-The Postal Service

Topanga: Just tell me what you see in the painting, Cory.
Cory: [peers at Starry Night] I see an attack.
Topanga: An attack?
Cory: An attack from another world.
Topanga: An attack from another world. All right, let's look again. What about the relationship between God and man?
Cory: Oh, okay. I was about to get there. See, God, unhappy with how some particular humans treat other particular humans who love them, has decided it's the end of the world. And I think he's right.
Topanga: God is protecting the people in this little town! They live their lives and they come out of their houses, and they see this sky and they know God's protection and love. And that everything will be all right.
Cory: Listen, how do you expect me to see good in anything when I feel so bad in here?

I have been blessed and now I'm blind
A veil's been pulled over my eyes
Now every bad season that kept me believing seems so contrived
There's more glory to be seen
And savored through suffering
Than ever was through self serving escape.

Abacadavers-The Classic Crime

On the night you left I came over
And we peeled the freckles from our shoulders
Our brand new coats so flushed and pink
And I knew your heart I couldn't win
Cause the season's change was a conduit
And we'd left our love in our summer skin

Summer Skin-Death Cab

People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to feel? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength in the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for the right to feel your pain.

It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real, well I don't want to know.

Don’t Speak-No Doubt

i aint the reason that you gave me
no reason to return your call
you built a house of cards
and got shocked when you saw them fall
well i aint saying i'm innocent
in fact the reverse
but if your headed to the grave
you don't blame the hearse
you're like a little girl yelling at her brother
'cause you lost his ball

Effect and Cause- The White Stripes

then something else came to mind
and that was the mirror
it made everything clearer
that you are more beautiful
compelling and stronger
it didn't take much longer
just for me to realize
i love all the little things
and the beauty that they're gonna bring

i dig your little laugh
and im loving your quick wit
i even love it when you're faking it!
and it might sound a little strange
for me to say to you
but i'm proud to be you.

Slowly turning into you-the white stripes

Peace. It does not mean to be in a place where there is no noise or hard work. It means to be in the midst of those things and still be calm in your heart.

"Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away”

Sex and the City

I wanted freedom;
Bound and restricted,
I tried to give you up
But I'm addicted.
Now that you know I'm trapped;
Sense of elation,
You'd never dream of
Breaking this fixation.

You will squeeze the life out of me.

Time Is Running Out-Muse

Too weak to stand
Too scared to love again
The dam has broke
My soul is spilling all over your hands
Take a look in my eyes
Lover
There's something about your pushing me
Pulling me
That's saying don't go away

Gotta Stay High-New Radicals

I have come to the realization that life is more than what I have accomplished.
And life is more then the realization that we have accomplished nothing at all.
True success is so selfless so drown in the lyrics of your life
and give up the air that you breathe.
You don't need anything. You don't need anything.

Who Needs Air?-The Classic Crime

It seems we're fearfully made and designed,
But it's a shame we can be so blind.

Abacadavers-The Classic Crime

Harvey Milk: [to Cleve Jones] You're going to meet the most extraordinary men, the sexiest, brightest, funniest men, and you're going to fall in love with so many of them, and you won't know until the end of your life who your greatest friends were or your greatest love was.

Milk

You know some real bad tricks
And you need some discipline
But lately you've been tryin' real hard
And givin' me your best
And you give me the most gorgeous sleep
That I've ever had
And when it's really bad
I guess it's not that bad

Underneath It All-No Doubt

My life
You electrify my life
Let's conspire to ignite
All the souls that would die just to feel alive.

Starlight-Muse

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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Sat, 21 Feb 2009 04:44:33 GMT

new update by tomorrow :)

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Well that is that and this is this.
Will you tell me what you saw and I'll tell you what you missed,
when the ocean met the sky. (You missed, you missed)
You wasted life, why wouldn't you waste the afterlife?

Ocean Breathes Salty-Modest Mouse

Ever so sweet,
You baked it in cakes for me...
What you left behind,
It hurts my teeth...
Bringing the past with the postcards you sent for me...
Every line...
It brings me right back down.

Ever So Sweet-The Early November

The rain is gonna fall, the sun is gonna shine
The wind is gonna blow, the waters gonna rise
She said, when that day comes look into my eyes
But no ones giving up quite yet, we've got too much to lose,

Sweet and low-Augustana

You are just like your mother, I'm just the same as the others.
Do you believe everything they write in all those magazines?
Stay out of love until you're ready, stay out of it 'cause it scares you.
You'll still find your love outside the public library.

I know it could happen to you.

Impossible-Shout Out Louds

So how do I do normal?
A smile I fake
the permenant wave of
cue-cards and fix-it kits
Can't you tell?
I'm not myself
I'm a slow motion accident
Lost in coffee rings and fingerprints
I don't wanna feel anything but I do
And it all comes back to you

Hear Me Out-Frou Frou

Sorrow drips into your heart through a pinhole
Just like a faucet that leaks and there is comfort in the sound
But while you debate half empty or half full
It slowly rises, your love is gonna drown

Marching Bands Of Manhattan-Death Cab

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

City of Blinding Lights-U2

We sat there, staring into each other's eyes, knowing we both wanted it. But we were scared. We didn't want to mess up some friendship.

The paradox of our time in history is that we have tallerbuildings but shorter tempers, wider freeways , but narrowerviewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less.We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but lesstime. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but lessjudgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but lesswellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly,laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, getup too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray tooseldom.We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. Wetalk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned howto make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life toyears. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have troublecrossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer spacebut not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things.We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered theatom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We planmore, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. Webuild more computers to hold more information, to produce more copiesthan ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times offast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steepprofits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomesbut more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days ofquick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands,overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet,to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window andnothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letterto you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, orto just hit delete... Remember; spend some time with your loved ones,because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kindword to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little personsoon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug tothe one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can givewith your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, "I loveyou" to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. Akiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside ofyou. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday thatperson will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak!And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And alwaysremember: Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but bythe moments that take our breath away.

If love is surrender
Then whose war is it anyway?

Psychobabble-Frou Frou

Alright don't worry even if things end up a bit too heavy.
We'll all float on...alright.

Float On-Modest Mouse

Maybe mistakes are what make our fate... without them what would shape our lives? Maybe if we had never veered off course we wouldn't fall in love, have babies, or be who we are. After all, things change, so do cities, people come into your life and they go. But it's comforting to know that the ones you love are always in your heart... and if you're very lucky, a plane ride away

Sex and the City

I see your picture.
I smell your skin on
The empty pillow next to mine.
You have only been gone ten days,
But already I'm wasting away.
I know I'll see you again
Whether far or soon.
But I need you to know that I care,
And I miss you.

I Miss You-Incubus

Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting,
challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Sex and the City

But there's no blame for how our love did slowly fade,
And now that it's gone, it's like it wasn't there at all
And here I rest where disappointment and regret collide
Lying awake at night

Title and Registration- Death Cab

Cory: You are going to learn something from life every day. And make mistakes. And you'll make good friends and Mr. Feeny will probably teach you every grade you're ever in. And maybe someday you'll fall in love with a woman as wonderful as Topanga. How would you like that?
Joshua Matthews: Yeah.
Cory: And be lucky enough to make a good friend as Shawn. How'd you like that?
Joshua Matthews: Good.
Cory: And when you're not a little boy anymore, when the world has taught you how to be a man... Then you'll still make mistakes. But your family, and all those good friends you've made along the way, will help you. And even though you'll think the world has gone out of it's way to teach you all the tough lessons, you'll realize that it's the same world that's given you your family and those friends, you you'll come to believe that no matter what happens, somehow the world will protect you, too. "Boy Meets World." Now I get it.

Boy Meets World

More than a love song can give
More than a feeling like this
More than a dim light upon the path you walk
More than the words can explain
More than the falling rain
More than the sun shines upon your lovely face
It's more than a love song

More than a love song-augustana

Don't you want to stand still with me?”

Sex and the City

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Monday, February 02, 2009

Mon, 02 Feb 2009 04:59:31 GMT

wow. it's been a while.

so i was bored the other day and realized that its been way too long since i've updated, so here we go.
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The stars awaken a certain reverence, because though always present, they are inaccessible; but all natural objects make a kindred impression, when the mind is open to their influence. Nature never wears a mean appearance. Neither does the wisest man extort her secret, and lose his curiosity by finding out all her perfection. Nature never became a toy to a wise spirit. The flowers, the animals, the mountains, reflected the wisdom of his best hour, as much as they had delighted the simplicity of his childhood.

- Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “Nature”

On the outside, you know you're not that same naive kid anymore. You've been through too much too fast, but deep down, at your core, there will always be a part of you that rejects reality, that is eternally hopeful.

I take it slow because I have time
Back to the days when you were mine
Back to this faulty relationship
Back to the days when we both fit

-Compliment Each Other Like Colors-Playradioplay!

Now I'm sitting here in disbelief,
How it truely broke my heart to have to watch her leave,
But she was torn between what she wants and what she needs,
They say you love someone enough you've gotta set them free,
She said that she was born and leave this down to her,
Knew the truth was good she looked me in the eyes a lot,
Saying it's time to cut the ties,
Time to say goodbye,
So she left,
But she never never left my,
Never never left my mind

-If You See Kay- The Script

Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known.

- invisible monsters

there is always some madness in love,
but theres always a reason in madness – Neitzche

[Voice over; letter to his daughter] For what it's worth: it's never too late or, in my case, too early to be whoever you want to be. There's no time limit, stop whenever you want. You can change or stay the same, there are no rules to this thing. We can make the best or the worst of it. I hope you make the best of it. And I hope you see things that startle you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with a different point of view. I hope you live a life you're proud of. If you find that you're not, I hope you have the strength to start all over again.

-The Curious Case of Benjamin Button

Only when we get to see
The aerial view
Will the patterns show
We'll know what to do
I know the last page so well
I can't read the first
So i just don't start
It's getting worse
[chorus]
I wanna know what it's like
On the inside of love
I'm standing at the gates
I see the beauty above

-Inside of Love- Nada Surf

Lovers, keep on the road your on
Runners, until the race is run
Soldiers, you’ve got to soldier on
Sometimes even right is wrong

They are turning my head out
To see what I’m all about
Keeping my head down
To see what it feels like now
But I have no doubt
One day, were gonna get out

-Lovers In Japan-Coldplay

What I want is to be needed. What I need is to be indispensable to somebody. Who I need is somebody that will eat up all my free time, my ego, my attention. Somebody addicted to me. A mutual addiction.- invisible monsters

I've been hiding in this bed for weeks from this
Throats raw from screaming and I haven't said a word
The sky is calling, and the stars they point to this
To a chair we see your breath in the air, but only for a little while
Your cold pale skin and tainted purple lips
Let me embrace you with this kiss
And together we'll float like angels
Together... together we will float, like, angels
Higher than the heavens the clouds part ways
'Promise me to never look down!' and we'll stay like this forever
If your stomach feels weak then my work here is done
To hide from our twisted ways, I've been hiding in this bed
Been hiding in this bed for weeks

-The Words ‘best friend’ Become Redefined-Chiodos

"We are taught to think of our success in terms of numbers. If touching one persons life is a good thing, then touching one thousands of people's lives must be a great thing. It's easy to see where we learned to think this way. Our whole society revolves around mass production. The more units we can move, the more customers we can serve. The more boats we can get, the more money and the more stuff we have, the better, right? Maybe it's not possible to touch one thousand peoples thinking, or as powerfully as one person. Maybe it's not really so revolutionary after all, to have one person out of a group of twenty tell everybody else what's right. Wouldn't it be better if we tried a decentralized approach where everyone works closely with those around them, instead of a few people waiting in anonymous mass? Do you have to save the world all by yourself, why don't you trust someone else to do it with you?"

From day one I talked about getting out
But not forgetting about
How my worst fears are letting out
He said why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
When breathing just passes the time
Until we all just get old and die
Now talking's just a waste of breath
And living's just a waste of death
And why put a new address
On the same old loneliness
And this is you and me
And me and you
Until we've got nothing left

Therefore, the Deity sends the glory of youth before the soul, that it may avail itself of beautiful bodies as aids to its recollection of the celestial good and fair; and the man beholding such a person in the female sex runs to her, and finds the highest joy in contemplating the form, movement, and intelligence of this person, because it suggests to him the presence of that which indeed is within the beauty, and the cause of the beauty. In the particular society of his mate, he attains a clearer sight of any spot, any taint, which her beauty has contracted from this world, and is able to point it out, and this with mutual joy that they are now able, without offence, to indicate blemishes and hindrances in each other, and give to each all help and comfort in curing the same. –Ralph Waldo Emerson’s “Love”

And soon everybody will ask what became of you.
'Cause your heart was dying fast and you didn't know what to do.

-Cath-Death Cab

Few have cut their strings
And risked it all to chase their dreams.
Most seek the quick buck.
The perfect tan.
The easy fuck.
Pray for their promotion.
They stay in line.
They please the queen.
They wait their turn.
Climb the hill.
At all costs, avoid the pain.
With my titan feet I could
End it with just one step.
You cannot dodge agony
If all ten tons of it
Comes stomping down on you at once
Like a bullet to the brain.
From my monster height
A healthy walk I contemplate.

-Ants-Forgive Durden

what do you do
when your lifes a disater
and your moving faster
and its getting harder to breathe?

what do you say
if someone is right but
you disagree even if its the truth?

-Decipher Reflections From Reality-Playradioplay!

Oh love, don't let me go
Won't you take me where the street lights glow
I can hear rain coming
Like a serenade of sound
Now my feet won't touch the ground

-Life In Technicolor II- Coldplay

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